Thursday, October 31, 2013

SwearNet: The New Home of the Trailer Park Boys

SwearNet, the official network of the Trailer Park Boys is really shaping up to be something fucking special. Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay and Mike Smith, the boys themselves, recently bought the rights to the series that premiered in 2001 on the Canadian network Showcase. The boys have big plans for SwearNet next year, including the eighth season of Trailer Park Boys and hopefully the official release of "SwearNet: The Movie" which I had the privilege of viewing at the Chicago premiere.

SwearNet has also been releasing sweet ass new merchandise, including Trailer Park Boys bobbleheads and a board game with thirteen collectible character pieces. Who knows what will come next? Hopefully some plush dolls of the boys so us hardcore fans can sleep next to Julian at night.

Wait, what?

As for, which is basically a television network on the internet where you can fucking swear, the content is really fun to watch. Especially when you are drunk. I had a great time watching it drunk the other night. It is still good sober, but you will not want to miss it drunk. The site is still in its beginnings and I have high hopes that it will become bigger over time. Once the new season of Trailer Park Boys is out they are sure to see an increase in subscribers.

So what the fuck are you waiting for? Go subscribe to SwearNet and enjoy new daily content featuring the stars of the greatest Canadian television series of all-time.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Hangin' with the Trailer Park Boys

No, I am not jerking off Draper and Bubbles. Just looking gay.

My friend Draper and I went to Chicago, Illinois over the weekend to meet the Trailer Park Boys at a fan screening of “Swearnet: The Movie”. We were excited as fuck to hang out with our heroes, even if it meant a seven-hour ride on the shitty Mega Bus with tons of obnoxious fucks.

After the screening of the movie the Trailer Park Boys were so fucked up on liquor I was afraid we drove all that way and wouldn’t get an autograph and picture with them. Luckily, Draper suggested we butt in line, so we did.

The first thing I did was walk up to Patrick Roach (Randy) and put my arm around him for a picture. He was too intoxicated to be very friendly with me and it didn’t help that I was nervous. He rather oddly looked at the picture I wanted him to autograph, but went on to say “I’ll sign it” to Mike Smith (Bubbles). I’m not sure what he and Mike were going on about and I doubt they would remember anyway.

When I reached Bubbles he was leaned against the wall with his head down, fucking drunk out of his mind. I gave him my photo to sign and tried to talk to him but he was too smashed to really know what was going on. It was actually kind of awesome, though I wish I had gotten to talk with him.

Next we tried taking another picture with the guys. It was not easy because they were all so drunk and wandering about. I had no idea how to pose for the photo because it happened so fast and ended up doing the dumbest thing possible.

Next I walked up to John Paul Tremblay (Julian) to get an autograph. I have to say, Julian was cool as fuck; even cooler than he seems like he would be. He was like “how’s it going, man?” and we shook hands like brothers do. He asked if I had a pen so I handed it to him. He thanked me for coming out to see them and I thanked him as well, making sure I told him how awesome he was. I told him thanks as he handed my photo back and he said “no, thank you, man!” Robb Wells (Ricky) and I made eye contact and he walked up to us. I told them we drove seven hours to see them. Ricky thanked me and said “that’s awesome!” Finally, I got the balls to say that I’ve been watching their show for a long time. They said “that’s great!” and that they had some awesome stuff coming out next year. I nervously spouted out that I can’t wait for season eight. Ricky signed my photo and I patted him on the shoulder and said “see ya later, Ricky”. Then we parted ways.

I wish I could have hung out with them longer but there were way too many people waiting in line. Overall, it went pretty smoothly and was a great experience meeting my heroes. I am glad that I wasn’t a super annoying fan like most of the rest. Draper and I were just two real dudes looking to meet our favorite television stars. We did it. Mission accomplished. It was a long trip but well worth it. I am actually sad the Chicago trip is over. We owned that city for one night. The only thing I don’t miss is being cramped up on shitty ass Mega Bus for hours at a time. Fuck off, Mega Bus, you greasy ass bastard.

Thanks to Robb Wells, John Paul Tremblay, Mike Smith and Patrick Roach for a memorable night that went down in the books. It was truly a night for men to be men.