Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Ryan's Top 10 Things Ever

I know it has been a while, but it is finally time to count down the top ten things ever in the creation of the universe. Almost all of these have made numerous top ten lists. But this is the ultimate list and probably my last one. What more do you need to know than the top ten things ever in the history of the world? NOTHING! So after this blog you might as well end it all. There's no reason to go on living once you understand the meaning of life, which I am almost certain you are about to find.

10.) The Simpsons

The Simpsons

I am not a huge fan of anything that has come out past the show's tenth season, but in its prime, what an incredible and beautifully written work of art. It had so much humor, heart, and story, something that most comedies today lack. The Simpsons changed television writing and animation forever. If it weren't for The Simpsons there would be no Beavis and Butt-head, South Park or Aqua Teen Hunger Force. I'll even go as far as to say that we'd be living a totally humorless world. Imagine a universe where Homer Simpson didn't exist. Did you do it? Now never imagine it again. It sickens me that you did it to begin with. The only thing there is really left to blame for the show is Family Guy. I could definitely live in a world without Family Guy. But for all the wonderful shows The Simpsons did inspire it is certainly forgivable.

9.) Adobe/Macromedia Flash

Harry & Terry

I was first introduced to Adobe/Macromedia Flash when in 2000 when it was only in its forth version. It took me years to learn how to use it properly, but twelve years and fifty cartoons later I cannot live without it. I don't claim to be a brilliant animator or cartoonist when it comes to Flash, but if it weren't for it I'd be missing out on a lot of fun. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing cooler than traditional hand-drawn animation. If it weren't for Flash I'd like to think I'd be doing traditional animation which would be 100 times sweeter. But being as how it isn't as affordable, I have to at least thank Flash for existing and making it possible to create cartoons in your own home.

8.) Seinfeld


Seinfeld is just the best and probably must successful sitcom of all-time. Mentioning it already makes me miss television of the nineties, before all this reality TV bullshit hit. In a world over a decade ago, creative minds were allowed to flourish beyond the simple minded concept of contestants competing like rats for money and success. I know it sounds like an amazing time in history, almost too good to be true, but it was. Unfortunately, these days have vanished and there will probably never be another sitcom as incredible as Seinfeld ever again. But God said, "Let there be reruns." And there was. And it was good.

7.) Beavis & Butthead

Beavis & Butt-head

I don't want to say Beavis and Butt-head changed my life, but they sure as hell have made me laugh a lot. Even with their recent return after a LONG hiatus their humor is as fresh as ever. Beavis and Butt-head is probably the only show that has ever pulled off a long-awaited return to television. Kudos to Mike Judge on creating two historic and hilarious characters that changed the face of cable forever.

6.) Trailer Park Boys

Trailer Park Boys

One of my greatest discoveries happened by chance in 2007 when I rented Trailer Park Boys: The Movie. Ricky, Bubbles and Julian would never make life quite the same for me. For the first time I enjoyed a stoner comedy. I found out the movie was based on a Canadian television series and downloaded all the episodes right away. I spent about a week by myself watching the entire series. Then when my roommates got back from a trip to Thailand, much to my surprise they fell in love with the "Trailer Park Boys" as well. Last year I was "lucky" enough (a word I rarely use) to see their live show. Unfortunately I didn't get to meet them and probably never will. But maybe it's better that way. It would be too much like meeting God times three. Way too much for any mortal to comprehend.

5.) Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly

Will Ferrell & John C. Reilly

These two entertainers make such a great comedic pair I listed them together on my top ten. I find them to be the funniest comedians of the present day, and possibly of all-time. They first teamed up together in Talladega Nights and later perfected their on camera chemistry in Step Brothers. Almost all of their movies appearing solo are great as well, but no one can deny they are a "buddy comedy" match made in heaven. I just hope they continue to make appearances together throughout the years. Unless of course, we all die in December 2012. Then they will probably have to part ways.

4.) Cats & Kittens

Cats & Kittens

Who here doesn't like to cuddle up with a good cat? They are ten times the pet and pal a dog will ever be. Also cuter. Which is why I will never understand the brain of a "dog lover". Any time I see a cat I have to pet it immediately. Their overwhelming cuteness is a weakness of mine. I would much rather have cats in my life than stupid babies. America, stop having babies and start adopting cats. It would be the best thing to happen to this country since number three on my top ten list.

3.) The Beatles

The Beatles

I have never been one to be too interested in music until I recently rediscovered the magic of the band The Beatles. I believe I have about eighty+ favorite Beatles songs, compared with the average of most bands I like which is about one or two. Their songs have become a major source for quotes in my daily life. I try my best to share their wisdom with others on a regular basis. My love for The Beatles sometimes feels more like a spiritual encounter than a musical one.

2.) South Park / Trey Parker & Matt Stone

South Park

I have written so much about South Park there is really not much left to say besides that it is possibly the most influential thing to ever take place in my life. If it weren't for South Park coming out during my teen years I definitely would not have as fucked up of a sense of humor as I do today. It has influenced my writing, animation, and drawing-style, but most of all it has given me my personality.

1.) Looney Tunes / Traditional Animation

Looney Tunes

Surprised that South Park didn't make number one? Well, I had to give first place to someone and I felt that South Park was more affiliated with "number two".

As a small child, I almost felt as if Bugs Bunny was my father. I didn't really have a male role model to look up to so I turned to cartoons. The king of cartoons of course was always Bugs Bunny, and who better to guide me? Life is full of events that shape you into the person you become, and I cannot think of anyone more who has guided me into such a loony life. The folks of Termite Terrace must have had no idea that their cartoons would impact people's lives in such a huge way. I would salute them, but saluting is gay. So instead I will just give a GIANT thanks to Chuck Jones, Friz Freleng, Bob Clampett, Tex Avery, Robert McKimson, Mel Blanc and everyone else at Termite Terrace for helping create the most wacky character of all: ME!

Be sure to check out my new Looney Tunes Pictures blog!

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