Tuesday, December 11, 2012

"If Bill Cosby was my Dad"

“If Bill Cosby was my Dad”

Written by Ryan Wells

If Bill Cosby was my dad
We would eat lots of pudding pops
We would always make silly faces
And our googly eyes would never stop.


If Ru Paul was my mom
She would also be my dad
When I grew up I’d never call her
Because she is a dirty drag.


If Obama was my brother
And I assure you he is not
I’d tell him to shove his health care
Because people bitch about it a lot.


If Oprah was my sister
She’d hide a Pontiac under my bed
She’d try to buy everyone’s love
For this I’d wish she was dead.


If Will Smith was my uncle
I’d tell him he sucks at rap
I’d never go see his movies
Because they all are crap.


If Wanda Sykes was my aunt
I’d punch her in the face
Because none of her jokes are funny
And she is a disgrace to the black race.


If Morgan Freeman was my grandpa
I’d tell him he’s old as f--k
That he has the strangest freckles
And his teeth are kind of yuck.


If Samuel Jackson was my grandma
He would want those snakes off the mother f--king plane
He would curse and yell to be funny
But really he is just lame.


If Bill Cosby was my dad
Boy, would I ever be black
But that would be okay
As long as were not related to Shaq.


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